As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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