Your face is a jimmy john
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
