I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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