awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
