I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
