So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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