I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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