There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
wow bdsm is so cute
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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