I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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