My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
