I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
