do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
