Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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