stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
