I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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