I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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