People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
