KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
A+ Viking dick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
