elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
