You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You just made me feel so damn special
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
