Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
