Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
