on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
