If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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