remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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