so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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