Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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