we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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