The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
