So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
