mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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