There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
