this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
