Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
