i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
