I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
