I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
