Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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