If i come over, it means nothing
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
