Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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