In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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