I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
