why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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