Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
