your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
