the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
