I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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