you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
