"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A+ Viking dick
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
