so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
