fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
